The Psalms - A (Well My) Life Journey View
Foreword
Two weeks before his passing, Greg shared with me a deeply personal reflection that draws from Walter Brueggemann’s framework of orientation, disorientation, and reorientation—a lens through which to understand the emotional terrain of the Psalms. His commentary is not an abstract theological exercise; it is the honest wrestling of a man whose life bore both unimaginable grief and unrelenting faith. Greg had already endured the devastating loss of a child, and now, with ALS relentlessly stripping away his strength, he faced the shadow of his own mortality.
Yet even in these final days, Greg’s words testify to a profound truth: life with God is not a straight path of certainty but a journey through seasons of stability, chaos, and renewal. The Psalms echo this rhythm—a movement from confidence to lament to trust restored—and Greg invites us into that same reality. At its heart, his message is a life-or-death fight to experience God’s presence, His “with-ness,” in every circumstance, and to rest in complete dependence on Jesus Christ.
Thank you, Greg, for teaching me what true friendship and unwavering faith look like. You showed me that loyalty isn’t just words—it’s presence, grace, and courage in life’s hardest battles. My heart is full of gratitude for every conversation, every laugh, and every moment of wisdom you shared. I can only hope and pray that others will one day know the kind of friendship I was privileged to share with you.
Richard Talbot
August 22, 2025
Dedication
Dedicated to my son Ian. I finish these 12 years to the day you left us and thrust us on “the road less traveled by.” Indeed, there were “miles to go before I [could] sleep.” “And that has made all the difference.”
Love you, son. See you soon.
Dad
Introduction
This personal reflection explores the human and visceral nature of the Psalms as a poetic diary that captures universal experiences. I adopt Walter Brueggemann’s framework of orientation, disorientation, and reorientation to understand the emotional landscape of the Psalms. Ultimately, the core message of the Psalms and my journey is a life-or-death fight to realize God’s “with-ness” through all of life’s seasons and rest in dependence on Jesus Christ.
Intro to a new view for me…
Of all the ancient works I am aware of, nothing is as human and as fearful as the Psalms. Ancient recorded narratives can be interpreted as myth, history, dor some mixture of both. Following them could lead you to the riches of Troy or pottery shards in the dirt. One’s approach to these works is largely based on one’s beliefs. Prophecies can be baffling, attractive, or downright scary. Their relevance is also largely impacted by the belief system brought by the reader. Wisdom literature can be perceived as’ above’ the relevance to daily life or seen as downright meddlesome. In summary, all can be read academically to study, appreciated as literature, believed as holy texts, yet still ignored for their relevance to life and change.
Whereas the mind and its disposition, along with its preparation, drive one’s perception of most ancient literature, including the Bible - both Hebrew and Christian scriptures. However, this is not the case with the Psalms. They resonate viscerally, encompassing the common, inescapable shared experiences of joy, pain, awe, confusion, worship, anger, and hope, all of which are worthy of consideration, regardless of one’s belief system. The Psalms strike us amidst the dust and blood of life. Just as dust blows in and settles into unwanted nooks and crannies while remaining visible on our shoes and clothing, life is messy, manifesting not only in private ways but also publicly. This messiness clings to us and mars our polished appearances. It affects us long after the dust appears, even as we strive to rid ourselves of it. “Life is in the blood,” states the Biblical law, reminding us of life’s fragility, limits, pain, time-marked opportunities, and joys. The Psalms are surprising, the book is long, and varied in content - and not necessarily a hype tool for recruitment into faith. For example, the book begins in a rather preachy manner, becomes confusing with apparent prophecy (2), and then trudges through one complaint and personal confession after another (3-7) before reaching the classic praise psalms (8). I am r Wes eading a poetic diary.
Sticking with it, we find that the Psalms encompass the human experience, mirroring our varied life experiences and demands. When considering what the authors are saying, the Psalms span time and culture, giving voice to deep feelings, desires, and admissions that we often cannot articulate, surprising us with honesty and tenacious faith.
Framework
Walter Brueggmann arranged the Psalms in three categories - that I find very helpful (‘Spirituality of the Psalms’ by Walter Brueggeman (2002, Fortress Press Augsburg):
Orientation: “satisfied seasons of well-being that evoke gratitude for the constancy of blessing”, which he calls the “Psalms of orientation, which in a variety of ways articulate the joy, delight, goodness, coherence, and reliability of God, God’s creation, and God’s governing law.”
Disorientation: the “anguished seasons of hurt, alienation, suffering, and death. These evoke rage, resentment, self-pity, and hatred. … ‘psalms of disorientation’ … ragged, painful disarray.
Reorientation: “Human life turns in surprise when we are overwhelmed with the new gifts of God, when joy breaks through the despair … ‘psalms of new orientation’ … a fresh intrusion that makes all things new”
Offering a bit more narrative:
Psalms of orientation contain worship where the psalmist is in the daytime: oriented with God and God with him. Thus, pure worship erupts to the heavens. These are beautiful but can present a rather naive or simplistic view of life, as seen in Ps. 1, 1,8, 103, and 145, for example.
Psalms of disorientation differ greatly. The author is in the darkness of the night and feels that he and his life are out of sorts- with people, the world, himself, and with God. Various causes, such as suffering, sin, pain, and injustice, make God seem far off, leaving the author’s life in or near the pit, the grave, Sheol. Is God real, present, caring, or true to His promises? These Psalms leave yawning questions that can swallow faith whole, as seen in Ps. 6,31,38,88,89,143, for example.
The third group of Psalms can be classified as works of reorientation. These are often the most personal and precious of the Psalms. The author, having been in the depths of disorientation, expresses lament and complaint to God. Yet juxtaposed with this is sudden praise for deliverance and confidence in the ever-present nature of God and the truth of His promises. In between lies the mystery- where God has appeared in the dirt and blood, brought His presence, Reorientation psalms are deeper versions of the orientation psalms. Tempered by Disorientation, the author praises God for salvation or acknowledges God alone is enough. exercised His saving power, and restored loving-kindness, peace, and right relationship back to the author, see Ps. 13,23,40,139, for example.
This category includes the victory hymns of Yahwah, such as Miriam’s song in Exodus 15.
Also, add declarations of tenacious faith in Gods in Lamentations 3 and Habakkuk 3 . Note that there are other examples.
Does the Framework Work?
Modern man has a much-improved understanding of the cosmos, weather patterns, disease, and socio-psychology. We tend look down on the ancients’ lack of understanding and gullibility to cry out to the heavens. We do know much more and can exert amazing control over limited aspects of the natural world. We have allowed these to extract a bit of awe and majesty from our lives. Yet, knowing and understanding can help you avoid certain catastrophes, but it may only raise fear once you are in it. We know when a hurricane is coming, we can evacuate but its punishing force is undiminished by our knowledge. Knowing the weather and economics of famine does not put food in your child’s belly if you are trapped in it. Knowing the course of a serious disease can heighten fear and anxiety. We understand the destructive nature of certain personalities and power - but we keep electing them.
We may know and understand much, this may give us some momentary power of cover for our ultimate impetrnce - wait for it; life will demonstrate what little control we actually weld. When we are there, fear, failure, and finality still reign. Maybe what gets us there is different than the ancients , but there we all find ourselves one day.
Reading the Psalms, one observes disorientation rudely interrupting or destroying the orientation and peace that is experienced for a season. We felt we had it balanced or under control. But now we are spinning out of control; all our knowledge, power, accomplishments, and resources cannot fix this. For rescue, we must be dependent on someone outside ourselves. The psalmists turned to a power over the created order- God- for rescue.
This is where the Psalms’ honesty really works. The psalmist sits with us as we ask: Why does God seem absent from us, and others receive His blessings? Why must life be marred with loss, tears, and confusion? The questions go on and on. In the Psalms, God is presented as sovereign, working according to His purposes rather than our comfort and preferences. But “when Love comes to town” (to quote Bono and BB), He embodies the answer holding our questions in honest tension, letting us know “He got this.” Complaints are silenced, making way for praise again. This time, tempered, life-wise praise, knowing in whom our hope comes - and it is not ourselves,
Relating to the Psalms
The human brain is wired to respond to narratives, and movies and books are particularly effective at weaving compelling stories that resonate with our emotions. This can create a powerful emotional connection between the viewer/reader and the story. Stories, whether visual or textual can foster empathy by allowing us to connect with the perspectives and emotions of others. This can lead to a deeper understanding of human experiences and social dynamics. Movies and books are long-form media that can be entertaining but also serve as a mirror to our own lives. Seeing others prompts us to reflect on our own emotions, experiences, and values. Such emotional sharing can be both a vicarious and self-reflective way. Movies, in particular, can be highly effective at evoking strong emotional responses due to factors like compelling narratives, visual elements, and music. This emotional engagement can enhance empathy and even inform our understanding of our own feelings. This type self-reflection can be a powerful tool for personal growth and self-awareness.
When reading the individual Psalms, you can sometimes sense the narrative directly; at other times, you must seek the referenced cause by cross-referencing the books of Samuel or Kings. Other times we rely on imagination. Sometimes, a verse, a psalm, or, in this case, the entire Psalter reflects a reader's life experience, often catapulting them into awe, leading them through the emotional rollercoaster that is suffering, or bringing forth an eternal truth essential for life to continue. Atheists, agnostics, theists, or believers—all see themselves in the Psalms - there are human.
Brueggermann himself describes the Psalsms as;
“In season and out of season, generation after generation, faithful women and men turn to the Psalms as a most helpful resource for conversation with God about things that matter most.” … Psalms show prayer in action - capturing God speaking to us, and us addressing God.
Psalms express the “entire gamut of speech to God, from profound praise to the utterance of unspeakable anger and doubt.”
God speaks . .. “the sovereign speech of God, who meets the community in its depths of need and in its heights of celebration.”
The Through-line
This view of the Psalms has been liberating for me, and I will detail a bit of my journey in the following sections. The message of the Psalms, as I now see it, is clear despite the author, the years, the emotionally unique positions, or revisions—God’s “with-ness” expressed to His people individually and collectively. God’s with-ness is celebrated, praised, and sought in orientation; it is longed for, requested, and pined for in disorientation; it is experienced in forgiveness, deliverance, and hope for a future with God in reorientation.
I will briefly illustrate through two “poster boys” Psalms of Disorientation - 88, 143. First a little flavor from both.
But I cry to you for help, Lord;
in the morning my prayer comes before you.
Why, Lord, do you reject me
and hide your face from me? Ps. 88:13-14The enemy pursues me,
he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in the darkness
like those long dead.
So my spirit grows faint within me;
my heart within me is dismayed. Ps. 143:3-4
We see dual challenges being born by the authors - the situation at hand (143 examples) and lack of perception of God’s with-ness (Ps.88). Both Psalms have both challenges. The Pslamist's strongest emotions and calls are drawn to God to “show up,” support, and deliver. If they had not known God’s with-ness; they would not be making such detailed and urgent pleas. The major Grief is the loss of the perceptual “with-ness of God.”
Don’t believe me, see the words of the Psalmists themselves.
One starts:
Lord, you are the God who saves me;
day and night I cry out to you.
May my prayer come before you;
turn your ear to my cry. Ps. 88: 1-2
One ends:
For your name’s sake, Lord, preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.
In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant. Ps. 143:11-12
In the middle, Psalm 89:46 summarizes the prayer:
How long, Lord? Will you hide yourself forever?
For the psalmists, any trial can be endured or overcome with God is with them. As another psalmist writes:
For you save a humble people,
but the haughty eyes you bring down.
For it is you who light my lamp;
the LORD my God lightens my darkness.
For by you I can run against a troop,
and by my God I can leap over a wall. Psa. 18:26-29
But without God's with-ness, despair. His perceived absence is the true test and trial.
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?
O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer,
and by night, but I find no rest. Psalm 22:1-2
With-ness is what is needed, the prescription for health always.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Ps. 16:7-11Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me. Psa. 23:4Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Ps. 73:23-27How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you. Ps. 139:16-18
This with-ness is what the ‘guitarist’ Psalms powerfully asks and hopes:
Send me your light and your faithful care,
let them lead me;
let them bring me to your holy mountain,
to the place where you dwell.Then I will go to the altar of God,
to God, my joy and my delight.
I will praise you with the lyre,
O God, my God.Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God. Ps. 43:3-5
Orientation
The Common Error
Modern man succumbs to many errors. One of the most common, particularly among those with sufficient resources or affluence, is highly dubious. The restoration principle states that given enough time, things seem to resolve loss to our advantage.
Context
I write this on the weekend following the stock market collapse in response to the death of the U.S. free trade and cheap goods policy. Yes, the Trump tariffs have begun, and the market correction is massive, similar to that of 2020 when the pandemic lockdown occurred. This is the sixth correction that has happened in my life. Twice, we lost at least a third of our investment value. But over time, we learned and experienced the rise in value again. Fortunately, during this last dive, we sat out. We moved our money to a guaranteed low-yield savings account just weeks before what we saved would be decimated yet again.
That time heals and even restores losses is the facility of modern man. Whether due to personal indiscretion, business failure, financial or personal losses, or moral failures, these can and will be repaired by time. Why do we believe this? Time offers the opportunity for new occurrences to happen - some of which can resolve and even reverse the losses. Just like the stock market, we tend to believe a bull market is just around the corner in life.
Basis
This optimism bias - believing that good things are more likely than bad things - trumps even our negativity bias, our tendency to remember negative events more intensely than the positive. We see the risks for others but underestimate the direct risks we face. This arises from a false sense of control and our ability to influence our personal situation through the powers we possess. We yearn to find the breadcrumbs that connect positive experiences to gain the self-affirmation and well-being we long for. Thus is born Littlewood’s Law: “in the course of any normal person’s life, miracles happen at a rate of roughly one per month. “ Summing up: Life creates an epistemic environment that is deeply hostile to understanding reality, one which seeks out and amplifies arbitrary amounts of the least representative data points. Given this, it is important to maintain extreme skepticism of any individual anecdotes or stories that are selectively reported but still claimed (often implicitly) to be representative of a general trend or fact about the world. https://gwern.net/littlewood
In following the breadcrumbs, we prioritize pleasing others to gain cooperation and agreement. Tasting the positive, we become addicted to reliving it, and the hunt for the big three commences: power, control, and indulging in comfort.
I argue that the restoration principle and Littlewood's Law are expected to be perceived in a gradient directly proportional to your resources. Resources foster greater optimism.
In the church, this leads to the overuse and misunderstanding of the famous 28th verse in the eighth chapter of Romans.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
The combination of modern resources and affluence amplifies the perceptions of the restoration principle and Littlewood's Law to focus on the potential singularity in “all things” -that each thing will produce good. Furthermore, the Greek is clear but also gives us humans a way to rely fully on one another. “Theos” or God is included in some manuscripts. The tendency of simplicity to be the original leads to these options:
“Since ὁ θεός is textually suspect, it is better to read the text without it. This leaves two good translational options: either "he works all things together for good" or "all things work together for good,”” as noted by NET.
The latter reading, taken out of context, is favored by modern man. The principle, coupled with Littlewood’s Law, puts us more in the driver’s seat, granting us more power and less dependence. Thus, our tendency is to expect good to emerge from each and all things - just because…
I never considered my life charmed, nor did I view myself as particularly privileged. My ego emphasized my accomplishments and progress. However, I recognized that, relationally, with family and community support and finances, I enjoyed multiple dimensions of privilege. This led to my “orientation” bias. What do I mean? I saw things as God’s role was to forgive and bail me out; my role was to praise, teach, and tell others about Him. As mentioned in the introduction of my perspective of the Psalms, I find Walter Brueggman’s arrangement most useful. Thus, we move from orientation to disorientation before visiting re-orientation in experience.
Orientation
I witnessed tragedy and experienced hard times —both death and crisis. But according to my bias and ego-centeredness, all seemed to follow natural timing or consequences largely. Looking back, I do not see a miracle every month; as a scientist, I need convincing. I believe that God bailed us out of many box canyons, such as the Lumina, the move to California, the LSBC fiasco, driving errors, and marriage crises. Why would this not continue?
I understood the true thrust of Rom. 8:28 - that the verb synergeō cannot work in the singular but requires multiple things synergizing together. This makes the interpretation clear - all things are not singular but collective and work together as a whole for good. But in my heart - due to the reasons above, I lived as if it meant God would make good happen eventually in all individual things. Further, although praying to, asking, and giving thanks to God for all blessings, I was rarely in a place of complete dependency. This lack of dependence, coupled with the principle, breeds support for that most American heresy- “God helps those who help themselves.” We work hard to “fix” everything and attribute that all to God. Maybe, maybe not…
In orientation, one is free to understand truth, sing, and rejoice in it. This has been me for much of the past 47 years. But there seems to be a gap in communicating to those who have lost resources, not had them, or found themselves so deep in a pit that dependency is the only option. I sense that something is amiss.
A Fast Descent - Like Falling Off a Cliff…
The call comes from Lanette that Ian is not home - he should be home from A&M by now. We call and call. No answer. Fear rises. “Find my iPhone” is activated. a single nonmoving signal. fear grips around your neck and squeezes. we drive frantically, trying to get the Rockdale police to talk with us. Nette says, “I have a feeling Ian has died.” My retort in an orientation mindset is that God has bailed us out and rescued us always in the past. Why would he stop now? Fear is choking me out as I pray and plead for my miracle- it is time!!!
In the end, we hear of Ian’s fatal car accident from the local police. It was bad. Can’t even view his body. Shock, horror, and I spin for the first time into deep disorientation. My son is dead, and God did not save him. No miracle; no amount of “good” or time can make this better. You cannot drink this emotional poison and find a silver lining. This is unreconcilable and incomprehensible. Isn’t it gone? All our lives shattered like mirrors, with pieces reflecting distorted, confusing images and jagged cutting one’s flesh.
Orientation … never again.
Disorientation
There are levels to darkness…
Going…
There is a darkness where you can’t see clearly, making it difficult to distinguish obstacles from the surroundings. It leaves one groping about or tripping over a black dog sleeping on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night. This actually happened before Thanksgiving last year. Chili Pepper blended into the darkness around her, and my tripping fre to aked us both out. Four stitches and two trips to urgent care later, I still have a fat elbow. Time and wisdom suggest that you first accommodate your eyes and get used to the darkness. Your eyes naturally seek light whenever possible, and with time, one can see both the open path and obstacles clearly.
Going…
Sometimes, darkness seems impenetrable and absolute, but with extreme accommodation, unknown sources of light are revealed. In 1995, NASA directed the Hubble Space Telescope at a seemingly empty patch of sky in the Ursa Major constellation—no larger than a grain of sand held at arm’s length. Over the course of 10 consecutive days, Hubble captured long exposures of this tiny, dark region. To everyone's amazement, the resulting image revealed nearly 3,000 galaxies, some over 12 billion light-years away. This showed that darkness was not empty, but rather that the proximity to light required more time to accommodate and the obstacle of our atmosphere to be removed.
Gone!!!
Sometimes, darkness is truly beyond the bounds of accommodation. Richard Talbot and I recently visited Longhorn Caverns. It is not a particularly long or deep cave, but 30 minutes into our exploration, the guide turned off the lights for about five minutes. In the initial moments, the lingering light created a false impression of illumination. Within seconds, that was gone, and the darkness pressed in around us. Our eyes hungrily searched for light but found none. The darkness was absolute; it soon became our environment. Trapped down there in the darkness, groping was the only option…or adopting the fetal position and softly crying in hopelessness until someone rescued us. Of course, troglobites live within the Texas caves, such as salamanders, crayfish, spiders, and beetles. Each has evolved remarkable adaptations to survive in complete darkness, with a limited food supply and high humidity in subterranean environments. They discard the need for sight and enhance other sensory organs that are useful in total darkness.
Disorientation can take on various forms, like darkness of varying depths. Losing a job requires accommodation to the source and shape of new opportunities. They come. Marriage trouble – one step into inky blackness and think all is gone. But with hyperfocus and endurance, new sources of light emerge and can consume the pain with their refreshing surprise and beauty. The light was there all along…just realize you were not focusing attention and affection.
Then there is losing a child. Cave darkness is the metaphor for this inconsolable condition. I will be brief here – you can read of our amazing son Ian and the profound and enduring loss we felt here. Like cave animals, normal sight organs are useless. You must develop other sensation tools to perceive the world, God, and eternity. Human wisdom runs out really quick… One is left like the Psalmists and other authors of the Hebrew Scriptures crying out to God.
“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?” Psalm 13:1“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from my cries of anguish?” Psalm 22:1“Why did I not perish at birth,
and die as I came from the womb? …
I cry to you, God, but you do not answer;
I stand, but you merely look at me.” Job 3:11; 30:20“Is it nothing to you, all you who pass by?
Look around and see.
Is any suffering like my suffering…?” Lamentations 1:12
One is left to go beyond the questions of Job, to ask:
“Cursed be the day I was born! May the day my mother bore me not be blessed!” Jeremiah 20:14
You first want God to “fix” things: First, it is to plead one's case, get justice, and resolution.
“Vindicate me, my God, and plead my cause
against an unfaithful nation.
Rescue me from those who are deceitful and wicked.” Ps. 43:1Contend, Lord, with those who contend with me;
fight against those who fight against me.
Take up shield and armor; arise and come to my aid.” Psa. 35:1-2
You realize that the past cannot be undone – you are left to sit on the smoldering ruins of your life and scrap life’s blisters with a pot shard. You would gladly exchange positions with your child in death. Continuing in life is the curse. In bitterness and pain, you want to hate God. You think His promises and justice are empty.
“Why have you rejected us forever, O God?
Why does your anger smolder against the sheep of your pasture?” Psa. 74:1“Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favor again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful?” Ps. 77:7-9"Lord, where is your former great love,
which in your faithfulness you swore to David?" Ps. 89:49
You come to adopt a position, as adapted by Paul Simon, in the ‘Sounds of Silence…”:
“You have taken from me friend and neighbor—
darkness is my closest friend.; Psa. 88:18
As one stares into the abyss, one gets behind the obscuring atmosphere of hurt, disappointment, and anger; you realize what the real light was … that which has gone out. The “with-ness” of God is hidden, not perceived, obscured, and even violated by the tragedy. This prompts a possible pivot:
From: “Why, Lord, do you reject me and hide your face from me?” Psa. 88:14
To: “My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?” Ps. 42:2
It is here that you are faced with the challenge to believe again, or let your soul die. As Elie Wiesel said, “The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference.” You realize that faith is not the absence of questions and doubt but the boldness to keep bringing them before God. It is that gnawing reality that you must be “with Him.” You must engage– though he slay me, yet will I trust in Him. Job 13:15.
“I say to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing.’” Psa. 16:2“Truly my soul finds rest in God;
my salvation comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” Psa. 63:1-2“Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.” Psa. 73:24-25
As Weisel witnessed: “My faith was lost there, in the flames of Auschwitz. Yet, I continued to pray to God. I continued to talk to Him. Even against Him.” Even the most bitter, the Psalmists with Weisel, pray and plead to be with God, or that He be with them again. Jesus, in the emotional, relational, and spiritual darkness of the cross, prayed…well, shouted in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" which is translated, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Mark 15:34.
The pit is real; the darkness is real; the light source is clear…it is still God among all our lostness, pain, and vitrail. To quote Weisel once more, “For the survivor who chooses to testify, it is clear: his duty is to bear witness for the dead and for the living… to be loyal not only to the memory of the past but also to the possibility of a future inspired by God’s presence—even if hidden.” Jesus in darkness died with a prayer of faith on His lips: “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last. (Luke 23:46).
The “death of death” involved Jesus descending into this darkness and die. But that wasn’t the end of the darkness.
He..”suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died and was buried;
he descended into hell;” Apostles Creed
The harrowing of hell is a doctrine forgotten by the modern church. It describes Jesus’ work in darkness. Christ not only died but also descended to Hades, the shadowy holding place of death. But He exercised agency and power there, proclaiming the gospel there (1 Peter 4:6), taking captivity captive, ascending to give gifts to men, and bringing with Him the faithful dead to be with God (Eph. 4:7-10). In going to Hades, Jesus took the keys of Hell and death from Satan (Rev. 1) and led His people to glory with Him. He is “with God,” seated at His right hand (Acts 7:56; Heb. 1:1-2). We are seated positionally in Christ there (Col. 3). We are “with Him” - He bought, brought, and ensures we are “with Him.”
Jesus killed death by dying, proclaiming, freeing, taking, and ascending to new life. The hope in Jesus is always resurrection, reunion, and the “with-ness of God.”
Such is my experience. Such is the experience of the Psalmists in Disorientation.
The Great Calling (Or an Essay on Reorientation)
The Setting
To remind anyone reading this out of order, Walter Brueggmann arranged the Psalms in three categories:
Psalms of orientation contain worship where David is in the daytime: oriented with God and God with him, thus pure worship erupts to the heavens. These are beautiful but can present a rather simplistic view of life, as seen in Ps. 1, 1,8, 103, and 145, for example.
Psalms of disorientation differ greatly. The author, often David, is in the darkness of the night and feels that he and life are out of sorts, with people , the world, himself, and God. Various causes- suffering, sin, pain, and injustice- make God appear far off, and David’s life plunges him into or near the pit, the grave, Sheol. Is God real, present, caring, or true to His promises? These Psalms leave yawning questions that can swallow faith whole, as seen in Ps. 6, 31, 38, and 6,31,38,143, for example.
The third group of Psalms can be classified as works of reorientation; these are the most personal and often the most precious of the Psalms. The author has been in the depths of disorientation, expressing lament and complaint to God. Yet juxtaposed is sudden praise for deliverance and confidence in God's ever-present nature and the truth of His promises. In between is the mystery where God has appeared in the mess and brought His presence, exercised His saving power, and restored loving kindness, peace, and right relationship to the author. God is “with” His people - this makes all the difference, as seen in Ps. 13, 23, 40, and 13,23,40,139, for example. This is an essay on reorientation.
The Dilemma
We all desire a muscular faith - but too often, we want ourselves to be the muscle. We jump directly to the Great Commandment (Matt. 22:36-40) and Great Commission (Matt. 28:18-20). We fail to experience the questioning of the Master on the seashore (John 21): “Do you love (agape) me?” “Do you love (agape) me?” “Do you love (philio) me?” and feel the bite and sting when our claims to die with Him end in denial; our claims to love Him first prove impossible. He even asks, "Do we love Him as a friend?" We are at the end of ourselves.
In a similar story, seamen witness the greatness and mercy of God through their deliverance from a savage storm.
They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man,
And are at their wits’ end ( end in themselves).
Then they cry out to the LORD in their trouble,
And He brings them out of their distresses.
He calms the storm,
So that its waves are still.
Then they are glad because they are quiet;
So He guides them to their desired haven. Ps. 107:27-30
But we forget the Lord causes the storm in Ps. 107. The way to His and our desired haven is through being at our “wits’ end - the end of our strength and ourselves. Not going to sugarcoat it; this sucks! But the storm, our inadequacy, opens our eyes to the source power - to love, to go, to live eternally - it is the Great Calling of God - to be “with” Him as He is “with” us.
Let me try to explain…
The second law of thermodynamics states that the universe tends toward increased entropy or disorder over time. Energy, action, and organization require energy—outside the system. This is true in physics, chemistry, and kitchens. You know the drawer. We all have one. The one that all your kitchen entropy or things without a place go. If you are like me, I pledge to clean and organize this junk drawer each January. When I do, it looks great! Too bad I can no longer find stuff. But wait a month, and that organization quickly breaks down. Our organization becomes covered by strata of new entropy, and the drawer becomes unusable.
The effect of entropy can be seen and heard in any good recovery meeting: “Sick and tired of being sick and tired.” Sin, self, and worldly obsessions always end with things out of control, with life and future in disarray. Bearing a heavy weight of self, hurts caused, bridges burned, and futures blocked is exhausting. You try to work harder to make it all work, but your knees eventually buckle.
Life naturally collects entropy as we add more interests and more demands to our agenda but offer less energy, strength, and capability to meet them. There is always a tipping point when the hassle exceeds the input and reward. We fall beneath the weight of obligations, promises, and demands. Usually, the gradual process of aging gets you to this tipping point. It is like an uphill hike that ends with the trail becoming too steep to continue. Life has a way of accumulating losses—of people, of opportunities, of capabilities, of joys —leaving one road-worn and exhausted.
I have found ALS accelerates this hike. You run out of physical strength, capability, and energy before you are mentally or volitionally ready. You just can do less and less—not by choice, but by necessity. Knowing you have passed the tipping point does not help. You recognize the mile markers to death. It weighs on you. Once again, staring internally at the gap between desire and ability on one side, having to allow others to do what was once effortless, and staring at the distance gained by death on you—you know he will overtake you soon and there is so much left undone. Exhausting.
Weary and Heavy Laden
Jesus characterized these conditions, whether self-inflicted, age-involved, or disease-induced, as being “weary and heavy laden” and in much need of rest.
When entropy meets reality—that tipping point awakens us from walking in the trance of life “as we would have it” and reminds us of what life really is, full of dust and blood.
Vanity of vanities (or vapor or vapors), says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! (Ecc. 1:2)
For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a bit of time and then vanishes away. (James 4:14)
Or as Moses mourned in Psalms 90:
For a thousand years in Your sight
It is like yesterday when it is past,
And like a watch in the night.
You carry them away like a flood;
They are like a sleep.
In the morning they are like grass which grows up:
In the morning it flourishes and grows up;
In the evening it is cut down and withers.
Life is glorious.
Life is short.
Life becomes exhausting. And ultimately, life is unfair, chaotic, and confusing, if we are honest.
ALS accelerates these realizations. It can quickly ramp up bitterness and anger. Life’s path has become very hard, and the verdict of unavoidable, premature physical death is a “hard word.” Like the crowd at the end of John 6, I find myself saying, “This is a hard saying; who can understand it?” I am bewildered, feeling cheated like the rug has been pulled out on my life plan.
The Real Dilemma
ALS has brought me to that point in John 6 - an end in myself. I have experienced Jesus's banquet. He transforms simple, insufficient things into complete, overflowing provisions and blessings. I want more of that!!! But it seems in the past. Life’s reality today and its demands are too much to bear—slowly suffocating life out of me, metaphorically and actually.
From that time, many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more. Then Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you also want to go away?” (John 6)
Regarding faith and the future, I am in the middle. Jesus’ words left the crowd and His disciples equally confused and overwhelmed. We all face
the Joe Strummer moment, “Should I stay or should I go now…”
What Now?
It is now I hear the Great Calling:
All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal Him. Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matt. 11:27-29)
To know God, to unload the burden, to obtain rest… all too good to be true. Is that what I really need? Don’t I want to get my game back? I ready myself to turn away.
Then, the person, Jesus, catches my soul’s eye. “Come unto Me,” He beckons. Behind that statement is the reality that He has already “Come unto me” or more rightly “Come unto us;” condescension without measure, to walk in dust, bleed, and die. The One high and lifted up in the heavenly temple (Is. 6); the One next ti the Ancient of Days (Dan. 7); the of whom angels sang (Luke 2), now shared in flesh, had dirty feet, and wept. He is meek and lowly: He is Emmanuel, God with us.
Indeed, the struggle in Gethsemane comes to mind, the agonized prayer, exhaustion, and submitted will (Heb 5:7-10). The cross comes into view:
Betrayal and mocking: emotional pain;
Scourging and the nails: physical pain;
Aloneness and abandonment: relational pain;
Weight of sin, inescapably of death: spiritual pain.
Being numbered with the transgressors; feeling the iniquity of all laid on Him.
Ultimately, Jesus realized to save others, He could not save Himself.
The One who says “Come unto me” has already closed the gap. He has already traversed eternity to with us. For us to come - is but to turn, away from the entropy, the heavy weights that define us, the exhaustion that consumes us, and fix our eyes on Him. Yes, on the One “for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame (Heb. 12).” Jesus has been where we are..His faith in the Father was sorely tested, but looking to the promise of joy sustained Him.
This turning to, this fixing our eyes on is radical departure from natural life. It involves a continual repentance, renunciation, hating, and mortification- a dying to self-focus, -control, -plan, and ceding the path, time, legacy and future to this Higher Power - Jesus who has come to us, sought us, bought us, called us, offers abundant and eternal life (John 10:10; 17:3), who is with us.
The calling He offers is to know this Father, to know the Himself who is “the author and finisher of faith (Heb. 12).” He is the pioneer, blazing the trail of faith from suffering, through death, to eternal joy. He is the perfector of our faith. He finished the job - faced death, did not lose faith in His Father in dying. He did not stop there, but rose through God’s power, pillaged hell gathering the its keys of hell and death, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. This is the One offering this hope of joy. As Skye Jethani in “With” riffs on Henri Nouwen’s trapeze metaphor:
If we return to Nouwen’s trapeze analogy, we can see the transient nature of both faith and hope. Faith is the courage to release the trapeze trusting that the Catcher will rescue us. Hope is the peace and assurance we experience as we soar untethered through the air knowing the Catcher will not let us fall. But once we are caught, once we are safely and fully in his grasp, faith and hope disappear”
All that remains is love for the Catcher, which has undergirded the faith and hope all along.
He invites, “Come unto Me…” I know I am among those who “labor and are heavy laden;” I am in much need of rest. There is a yoke to submit to, but not alone, for it is His yoke - He has been here before; He shares the weight now. “Learn of me” - know Me - the One who still bears the nail prints is gentle and lowly in heart.
This is the Great Calling - the “with Christ” life. Sharing His yoke, knowing our God, being including “in Him.”
How Does This Work?
It sounds glorious and heroic, but it is dust and blood; it is steeped in the inescapable reality of life. To return to the decision point of the disciples, the Twelve, us…me.
And He said, “Therefore I have said to you that no one can come to Me unless it has been granted to him by My Father.” From that time many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more. Then, Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you also want to go away?”But Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” John 6:65-68
YOU have the words; YOU are the way, the truth, the life (John 14); YOU - knowing You and Your Father is eternal life (John 17); YOU who shares Your glory of “with-ness” and unity with us:
And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me. John 17:22-23
Seeing the Great Calling this way: the One who bids, “Come unto Me,” has already come to unite us to Himself. This reality allows Jesus's next words to ring true.
“Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which You have given Me; for You loved Me before the foundation of the world. O righteous Father! The world has not known You, but I have known You; and these have known that You sent Me. And I have declared to them Your name, and will declare it, that the love with which You loved Me may be in them, and I in them.”
His glory is in the dust and the blood, the Garden and Golgotha, in death and in rising, in not quitting so that He may be in Us and that we may love Him as the Father does, as well as the corollary, the Father loving us as He does the Son since the Son lives in us.
The Great Calling, the “with-ness” and one-ness with Christ and all its blessings, is the power to love God, to love our exasperating neighbors, and to go and make disciples. We will come to an end in ourselves one way or another: failing to love, failing to go, or failing to be. We are not God.
New Start
It is time we three-step it: I can’t; He can; I will let Him. It is there that the real journey with God begins.
What is end of such a journey? Here we finally return to Romans 8:28.
And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose,
The profound claim here is that somehow God redeems each thing in the all things - He works all things, synergistically, together as a whole - for our good. What is that good? Vs. 29.
Because those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.
The journey’s content and goal is to mold us to be like Christ in this world and the world to come. Paul emphasized in the next verses the sure nature of this: before time, foreknew and predestined, in time, justified, and to beyond time, glorified. And in between? He is with us! Nothing can separate that bond of His graceful choosing through time and beyond time.
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor heavenly rulers, nor things that are present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Vs 38 - 39.
The surety of the “with-ness” of God.
TYLJ